I find that “sticky church” principles are important for lots of reasons. But one stands out above all others. I don’t see any way we can bring people to full maturity and fulfill the back half of the great commission without first producing the kind of significant long-term relationships that velcro people to one another and our local churches long enough to get the task done.

What do you think?

Some of my friends in ministry seem to devalue and even dismiss long-term, deep friendships as if they get in the way of real ministry. A small group that stays together for years isn’t applauded for its community. Instead it’s labeled as ingrown, self-indulgent, and a death-knell for evangelism.

Perhaps the problem resides in our American and Western European paradigm of Christianity as primarily a one-on-one personal relationship with God. We’ve created a spirituality that only needs a Bible and the Holy Spirit to be right with God; as if all the New Testament “one anothers” were optional rather than the core of what it means to live out our faith.

Few Christians are even aware that almost all the commands, promises, and exhortations in the Bible are plural. The you of Scripture is seldom addressed to us as individuals. It’s addressed to all of us as a group. It’s a southern y’all.

The result of our emphasis on individual piety is that the person who enjoys (or endures) hours of prayer, lots of alone time with God, maybe even a monthly couple of days of spiritual reflection at a local monastery is classified as being spiritual and tight with God. But interestingly, Jesus spoke more about simple obedience and our relationships with others than he did about personal prayer, time alone with God, or even reading and reflecting upon Scripture. (For more on this, see my book A CONTRARIAN’S GUIDE TO KNOWING GOD: Spirituality For The Rest of Us.)

But for now, that’s the reason we here at North Coast Church work so hard to make it difficult for people to attend without getting involved in a small group; and why we try to keep those groups together for the long haul.  We want to make significant long-term relationships available to everyone. I’m not satisfied with a ministry that motivates and educates – but lacks the close and sticky long-term relationships needed to bring people to full maturity.

What do you think? Am I right, wrong, idealistic, or realistic?

North Coast started as a small Bible study that fit into a living room. While we are much larger today, we face the same core issue we faced then. How do we reach people for Christ and retain them long enough to disciple them to maturity?

That’s where “stickiness” comes in. It goes beyond assimilation to the development of tightly velcroed personal relationships. It connects people to one another and the word of God – not just to the church organizationally.

Why is this important? It’s not just to keep people from leaving the church. It’s to fulfill the great commission.

Jesus didn’t only say go into all the world and lead people to Christ. He said to make disciples, baptize them AND teach them to obey all the things he taught.

That takes time. It goes beyond a motivational weekend service and Bible pep talk. It demands significant, genuine, and long-term relationships. Small churches, mid-sized churches, mega-churches, and church plants all need a “stickiness factor” if we want to fulfill the great commission.

But much of the structure and context of our modern-day churches pushes us in another direction – away from sticky interpersonal relationships. There’s an old saying, “You get what you count; you pursue what you celebrate.”  In most of our churches today, we primarily count and celebrate two things: decisions for Christ and church growth. Both are important, but by themselves, they leave out the important measurement of maturity without which a decision for Christ or church growth eventually means little. 

Fact is, even in small churches that pride themselves on being one happy family; most of the relationships aren’t very sticky. Sure there is a tight core of worker bees at the center. But everyone else circles around wondering why they can’t “connect.”  The result is lots of friendly but superficial relationships.

The STICKY CHURCH paradigm doesn’t replace a heart for seekers or a desire for church growth. It simply seeks to make sure we retain for the long-haul the gains we’ve made in the short-run and to guarantee that we fulfill the great commission in all its fullness.

So how do we get there?

More to come . . .